Any situation that disrupts established routines will require a more or less lengthy adjustment period. Changes to daily life can generate stress and anxiety, as a child’s sense of stability is shaken.
Telling them the news, preparing them for new routines, and supporting them through their emotions may seem challenging. However, with the right strategies, it is possible to reassure them and help them adapt gently.
When Moving House:
A move is a significant event, both for parents and children, who may experience a wide range of emotions. Here are some tips to ease the transition:
- Involve your child in the move
Including your child from the outset helps them better understand and accept the change. Packing boxes together, sorting belongings to keep or donate, letting them choose their favourite items to bring… From the age of 2, children can actively participate, which helps them feel more in control. - Be transparent and honest
Whatever their age, it is important to speak openly with children. There’s no need to sugar-coat reality, but rather to explain things with age-appropriate language. For example, if the move is due to a separation and involves a change of home, it’s important to acknowledge that this may be difficult, while reassuring them that everything will be done to make the transition as smooth as possible. - Prepare, organise, and let go
Children are incredibly resilient, but a move combined with other changes (new country, separation, new culture) can be more challenging. In such moments, it’s crucial to listen, answer their questions, and reassure them as much as possible.
Tip:
To make the experience lighter, you could start a tradition: on the first night in the new house, everyone sleeps on inflatable mattresses among the boxes – a special moment that turns stress into adventure!
When Dealing with a Death:
- How to talk about death with a child
Before the age of 5, a child has a limited understanding of death, and it’s only from around 9 years old that they begin to grasp its permanence. Their understanding evolves with cognitive development, so it’s helpful to talk about the topic even before a death occurs. - Supporting your child’s emotions
Your child will experience different emotions, possibly in ways you don’t expect. Some will show sadness straight away, others may need more time. Some may ask lots of questions, while others might not dare to ask at all. Encourage open dialogue by asking if they have questions, and reassure them that they can speak freely with you or someone they trust.
Even babies can feel the emotional impact of a family loss, which can affect their sleep or appetite. If your child shows persistent signs of distress (withdrawal, prolonged sadness, unusual behaviour), do not hesitate to seek professional advice.
- Helping children understand death
● Use clear language: Avoid euphemisms like “gone to sleep” or “left us” that can cause confusion or anxiety. Simply explain: “When someone dies, their body stops working and they do not come back.”
● Encourage emotional expression: They may fear their own death or that of someone close, feel guilty, or show difficult behaviours. Help them express themselves through words, drawings, writing or play.
● Respect their pace: Let them take part in rituals if they wish, but don’t force them. Explain in advance what will happen and the purpose of funerals (saying goodbye, receiving support). - Maintain a reassuring routine
Try to preserve their usual routine to provide a sense of security. Answer their questions calmly and honestly. If they don’t get answers, they may invent their own – often more frightening than the truth.
Finally, take care of yourself. Show them it’s normal to feel sad or upset, but that with time and support, we can move forward.
Recommended books to help your child cope:
- Samantha has Lost Her Daddy – Julie Kaplow
- Mummy’s Home is in Heaven – Rebecca Cobb
- And Then – Malika Doray
- Grey Times – Pierre Bertrand
- You Will Live in Our Hearts Forever – Britta Teckentrup
- Goodbye Mog – Judith Kerr
- The Dead Bird – Margaret Wise Brown
When Facing a Separation:
Talking to a child about a separation is a delicate step, but with the right words and a caring approach, you can help them understand and cope with the transition more peacefully. Here are some tips:
Prepare the announcement carefully by choosing a calm moment when the child feels safe. Keep the explanation simple and age-appropriate, for example: “Mummy and Daddy don’t get along so well anymore, so we’ve decided to separate, but we will always love you just the same.” Avoid conflictual details and adopt a neutral stance so the child does not feel responsible.
Reassure your child of their parents’ love and the stability of their life. Emphasise that, despite the separation, both parents still love them. It’s also helpful to explain what will remain the same, such as: “You’ll still see both Mummy and Daddy. We will always be your parents.” Maintaining routines helps reduce upheaval and provides a sense of safety.
Welcoming their emotions kindly is essential. Your child should feel free to express sadness, anger or worries without being judged. You might say: “It’s normal to feel sad – you can talk about it whenever you want.” Some children may show distress through sleep problems, irritability or withdrawal – be attentive and understanding.
Answer their questions honestly and appropriately for their age, without going into adult-level detail. If they ask whether it’s their fault, make it very clear that it is never the child’s fault.
Encouraging a positive relationship with both parents is crucial for their wellbeing. Avoid criticising the other parent in front of the child, and support their bond with each parent without guilt.
Finally, give your child concrete information about what to expect after the separation – where they will live and how they will see each parent. If a move is planned, show them the new space beforehand to help ease the transition.
Useful books for supporting this conversation:
- Two Homes – Claire Masurel
- The Separated – Morgane David
When a New Baby is Born:
The arrival of a new baby is a major turning point for a child. Their role in the family changes: they become an older sibling or a middle child, leaving behind the status of an only child. This transition can provoke a range of emotions, from joy to anxiety.
The youngest child in a family often receives special attention from parents and others. They may feel privileged, even though the love given to each child is unique. A new baby can trigger a feeling of losing their place. They’ll also be expected to show more patience and maturity, especially when waiting their turn – which may not have been necessary before. This shift can lead to regressive behaviour or an increased need for attention, to remind everyone that they still exist.
Explain to your child that your love remains unchanged, and that a special bond will grow between them and the new baby. Looking at photos of them as a baby, and explaining how they joined the family, can help them understand their place and accept the arrival of their new sibling. If they haven’t been around babies before, visiting a newborn beforehand can help them hear baby cries and become familiar with what to expect.
Involve your child by letting them help choose the baby’s name, clothes, or toys. This helps them feel included in the arrival. If your child is still very young (under 2), be clear and simple, saying: “Mummy has a baby in her tummy,” and let them feel your belly to make it more tangible.
Books to help them understand:
- I’m Going to Have a Little Brother
- Mummy Bear Has a Big Tummy
- Little Girl, Big Sister
- How to be a Big Brother or Sister
- T’choupi Has a Little Sister
- Trotro and Zaza – Being a Big Brother is Great
With gentleness and patience, you’ll help your child accept this change and build a beautiful relationship with their future sibling.
In a Blended Family:
Children must adapt to a new reality, which may include a new partner and, sometimes, step-siblings. This transition requires patience, understanding, and adaptation from every family member.
Here are some key steps to support a smooth blend:
- Plan fun activities with your partner and all children
Shared moments help children get to know each other and begin forming bonds without the pressure of living under the same roof. Each person can gradually settle into their new family role. - Spend one-on-one time with your child
Early on, set aside quality time alone with your child. This will help them adjust more easily to the changes. - Set rules and boundaries
Blending two families means merging different habits. To maintain balance and harmony at home, it’s essential to establish shared rules and routines. These may include chores, bedroom arrangements, schedules, and family activities. By setting clear expectations from the beginning, everyone knows their role and can adapt to the new family dynamic.
Blending a family takes time and care. With patience, structure, and the right support, every family member can find their place and develop harmonious relationships.
Book suggestions for helping children understand blended families:
- My Blended Family – Florence Cadier and Robin
- My Little Half-Brother – Stéphanie Blake
- My New Family – Sarah Turoche-Dromery
At Rockids, we place great importance on building a trusting and close relationship with parents. Our crèche managers are always available to answer your questions, support you, and guide you in your parenting role. We are committed to listening to your needs, offering advice, and providing a caring environment to help support the education and development of your children. Together, we form a united team for the wellbeing and success of every child.
